Today, regretfully, I am announcing termination of my candidacy for President of the United States.
I am ending my campaign because the candidacies of the truly insane have, well,… gone into the toilet, leaving me the difficult task of thinking up parodies rather than simply reproducing the candidates own public statements.
Also, as I have mentioned previously, I am one of the few people who actually likes, Mendacious Mitt. For someone completely lacking a public personality, he has managed to become the media’s dream candidate by basically refusing to do things. Some pundits have criticized his refusals as bad strategy, but I, on the other hand, suspect that it may be brilliant.
Imagine if during his acceptance speech after garnering the nomination at the Republican convention he refuses to run for president. The free press coverage would dwarf what he could buy no matter how large the campaign contributions made by those 10 wealthy men into his independent expenditure funds.
(Please Note: Many posts regarding my candidacy have appeared in other venues, most specifically in the blog “This and that…” beginning June 2011 and continuing until today. I invite you to explore Pookie’s candidacy and observations on the campaign at that site. Simply enter “Pookie for President” into the search box and you will be directed to those posts containing commentary and observation. )
- Al Franken: Putting an End to Secret Campaign Contributions (huffingtonpost.com)
- Democrat David Cash Announces 2016 Presidential Bid (thesecretnation.com)
- Ron Paul One State Short of Qualifying for Nomination (usnews.com)
- Ron Paul Supporters Essential To Mitt Romney Candidacy, Fox News Guest Says [VIDEO] (ibtimes.com)
- Nicolazzo: Message Inconsistency Paralyzes a Candidacy (odwyerpr.com)
- Ron Paul backers seek influence at GOP convention (miamiherald.com)
Never forget that if you chose to be a teacher, policeman, fireman, soldier, or nurse, it is your own fault you are not rich.
For that matter, you are also incompetent inefficient government drones, parasitically living off the public payroll. Why don’t you get a real job in the private market flipping hamburgers instead of living on public handouts paid for by our taxes?
For this reason, Pookie’s platform promisis to privatize all public services and eliminate their funding from public sources.
IT IS TIME THE EDUCATION AND PUBLIC SAFETY INDUSTRIES BE TAKEN OFF THE DOLE. LET THEM BE SOMEONE ELSE’S PROBLEM FOR A CHANGE.
Rick Santorum, Republican candidate for president, who opposes abortion for any reason including conception as a result of rape or incest and who also opposes any form of governmental aid for the health and welfare of the children that are born, forcefully advocated for the selective assassination of nuclear scientists from countries such as Russia, North Korea and Iran because they may at some point become a threat to the US.
Santorum considers himself to be one of the most moral men in America today.
Hmm… let’s see, should abortion be legal for Muslim women because their children may become a threat to the US. How about poor women because they are more likely to birth children who grow up to be Democrats and therefore are…?
And how about this:
“I don’t care about that, if that’s what comes, I’ll take that criticism.”
Rick Perry, one time Republican candidate for President, in an interview with The New York Times, said this about the massively increased economic inequality that would result from his proposed tax plan.
OK, Rick I really don’t care what becomes of you either, as long as you do not become President.
OK it’s not just politicians:
“I, like you, get a little incensed when you think about how much good all of you do, whether its volunteer hours, charitable giving we do, serving clients and customers well.You ought to think a little about that before you start yelling at us.”
Bank of America CEO Bryan Moynihan in response to customer complaints about the bank’s plan to charge $5 a month fee for debit card purchases.
Huh? And do you wonder why the banksters and the other masters of the universe are shocked when people suggest that they may bear some responsibility for the world’s economic crisis? They are idiots, that’s why. BofA later withdrew their proposal and apparently are now well on their way to bankrupcy.
Is parody strong enough?
The recently concluded Conservative Political Action Conference at which all the major Republican presidential contenders spoke, as well as did prominent Republican members of Congress is co-sponsored by several organizations including “Youth for Western Civilization” whose founder, Marcus Epstein, was arrested and pled guilty to a hate crime after karate chopping a black woman on a street while calling her a “nigger,” and who is reputed to have strong ties to European Neo-Fascist organizations (according to People for the American Way).
Among are reasons why attempts to parody the contemporary far-right and the current Republican candidates appear futile are that their own words appear to be beyond parody. As a result, periodically I will be posting items in my campaign literature called, “In their own words.” Here are some:
“Much of what you see in the Catholic Church today doesn’t come from God’s Word, it comes from that cult-like, pagan religion. Now you say, ‘pastor how can you say such a thing? That is such an indictment of the Catholic Church. After all the Catholic Church talks about God and the Bible and Jesus and the Blood of Christ and Salvation.’
Isn’t that the genius of Satan? If you want to counterfeit a dollar bill, you don’t do it with purple paper and red ink, you’re not going to fool anybody with that. But if you want to counterfeit money, what you do is make it look closely related to the real thing as possible.
And that’s what Satan does with counterfeit religion. He uses, he steals, he appropriates all of the symbols of true biblical Christianity, and he changes it just enough in order to cause people to miss eternal life.”
Dr Robert Jeffries, minister and ardent supporter of Rick Perry and most other Republican candidates except Mitt Romney (and probably Newt because of his recent conversion to Catholicism) and leading light of the fear and hate caucus. Jeffries was prominent at the recent “Values Voters Summit” as well as Perry’s prayer shindig.
If I tried to put words like that into Pookie’s mouth or into the mouth of one of his imaginary supporters, it would and should be derided as not credible for a thinking human being to say, much less for anyone to believe or follow. Sort of makes you feel a little sorry for Mitt and Newt.
Then we have: Rick Santorum who, in response to a question regarding the difference between the civil rights movement and gay rights, said:
“You are black by the color of your skin. You are not homosexual, necessarily, by the color of your skin.”
Now I understand. I really do.
On the other hand sometimes they propose the darndest things:
Cost Cutting For Our Times: Officials in southeast Georgia are considering a money-saving program that would put inmates in fire stations. Officials say the inmates would respond to all emergencies — including residential fires — alongside traditional firefighters.”
For some reason my liberal bias assumes that the officials referred to are Republican. Maybe not, since this appears to be one of those examples of politically generated foolishness that knows no party label. How about putting them into police stations while we’re at it? They could learn a lot there. Have we really come down to this?
On the other hand we have Rick Santorum again who always can be relied upon to raise political hyperbole from “Did he really say that” to WTF.
“Look at the political base of the Democratic Party: it is single mothers who run a household. Why? Because it’s so tough economically that they look to the government for help and therefore they’re going to vote. So if you want to reduce the Democratic advantage, what you want to do is build two parent families, you eliminate that desire for government.”
A few weeks back, I was thinking of writing a campaign piece about abortion where I suggest that the Republicans may wish to reconsider their position since the well off [mostly Republicans] have always been able to secure an abortion whenever they wanted one, but the poor [mostly Democrats] would be forced to birth new voters for that reviled party. I did not do so because I did not think it was credible. I may reexamine that.
I guess if I were to give the year a name, I would call 2011 “The Year the Train Left the Station and We Were Not On it.” Since there were too many departing trains that we missed to discuss here, I will only look at what could be referred to as “The Big Train” or the “Everything Train” or even the “God Train.”
The God Train has an engineer and a conductor who sometimes change jobs. One I like to call “The Sorcerers Apprentice.” He represents the fundamental physical and mathematical constraint that nothing in nature increases geometrically forever. (In other words the only miracle of compound interest occurs if you are lucky to get out in time.) As long as there is an end (a wall), whether it is at the far reaches of the universe or across the room compound, growth eventually must stop. In our case, you and I, the limit is often set by the earth; its air water or whatever. In 2011 it appears to me that most of us, even those whose interest it is to ignore or deny it have recognized a feeling no matter how vague that there are limits to most things. Unfortunately, one of the undeniable aspects of geometric growth is that, in effect, it speeds up the closer it gets to its limit. This is often represented in the hockey stick graph we have all seen whenever someone wishes to frighten someone else into awareness of a particular limit. (It never works by the way. I guess no one fears a hockey stick.)
The second employee of Godʼs Railroad, I like to refer to as the “Rich Poor Ghost.” (Not the Poor Rich Ghost there are a lot of them around. Perhaps more today than ever.) You see there is another physical law of the universe; everything, even thought, takes energy no matter how little. But. what is special about the Rich Poor Ghost, is that often when you want to do something else, almost anything else than what you are doing (or change something), it takes energy (or money) to stop what you are doing and even more energy or money to start doing the new thing.
Take for example an old automobile you have that you may still have some payments on it. You would like to rid yourself of the old clunker and get something that would better let everyone know that you are richer than you really are. Now normally there is no problem. You go to the dealer and trade in your old car and drive away with a fully bank owned new car. You can do it because the manufacturer bears the cost of building the auto and charges you a mark up for that service when you purchase the car.
Assume however, he doesnʼt do that and you are required to advance him the cost right from the digging up the metals with which the car is fabricated all the way until it reaches you freshly painted in the color of your choice. You then, for a while, are paying twice, paying for your old car and for your new. Unpleasant, but you have a good job with extra money and a great deal of optimism, so you make the deal. But what happens if you do not have the money? Well you can sell your old car, but you would have to go without personal transportation. You could wait until you have paid off the car, but it is an old car and there is increased upkeep and maintenance before your fully warranted car is ready and so on.
Well, the Rich Poor Ghost is telling us that, if we want to have a chance to avoid driving into the Sorcererʼs Apprenticeʼs wall, it is going to cost money. But, in 2011 we realized that our money (or energy ) is decreasing so there is less of it with which to do what we want. And, since the Rich Poor Ghost tells us is that you must pay twice in order to get that new car or energy system or financial system or whatever, you are going to have to give up something else that you have or want. In other words a significant contraction of life style and a contraction of the economy is necessary.
In 2011 we, vaguely perceiving the God Train about to leave the station, had another drink at the bar decided that the tickets were too expensive and hoped that a new train with cheaper tickets would depart in the morning.
Happiness in America:
Pookie promises more happiness for America if he is elected President:
According to a recent study, no matter what else you do, you need at least $70,000 per year in household income to be truly happy. Interestingly, more than that does not make you more happy.
Therefore it is Pookie’s goal that every household will be encouraged to make at least $70,000 in income.
The current economic crisis in Europe:
Pookie says that it does not really exist. It is little more than an attempt by German bankers to control Europe and beyond. What Hitler could not accomplish by force of arms, Merkle, with the assistance of Mario Draghi head of ECB, may by forcing the social destruction of most other European nations for the benefit of German banks. This would leave those impoverished nations little or no option but to turn to these same banks for the financing of any attempts at recovery. If they succeed the German banks would achieve what OWS only dreamed of, the eventual collapse of Wall Street, while the financial capital of the world drifts to Berlin, Frankfurt and Hamburg.
Therefore, Pookie’s foreign policy will include, declaring German banks terrorists and preparations to attack them with drones.
Happiness, Part II:
On the other hand, studies have also shown that about 40 percent of happiness comes from the things we choose to do, like exercising, setting goals and building friendships. Only about 10 percent of our happiness is based on circumstances like age, race, gender—and, perhaps surprisingly, financial status.
Therefore if elected President a Pookie administration will encourage all Americans to spend 40% of their time doing whatever they like to do, except protesting his administration and engaging in any sexual activities not currently indulged in by Catholic priests, ministers or religious leaders in general.
It has been quite some time since I have campaigned here, although to some extent I continued on in my other blogs, This and that… and Trenz Pruca’s Journal. Never the less as I mentioned in those other publications, parody of the current race for the Republican nomination for President of the United States may have moved beyond parody and into the realm of pathology.
Oh, yes John Stewart and Steven Colbert are still out there finding things worthy of parody and the Borowitz Report still plugs along. Alas I seem to be losing my ability to mine the humor in it.
For example, a few days ago, I received from some of my most conservative correspondents a now well-known video of the very right-wing Congressman King, calling for President Obama and Nancy Pelosi to leave the United States. Now, my correspondents would probably shake with indignation (and probably did) at calls for W’s impeachment or for war crimes trials of members of his administration. Nevertheless. they go on to maintain that those who object to King’s statement are left-wing racists because King is black. They forget that only 3 years ago, they and their cohorts were apoplectic regarding the then candidate’s black pastor’s sermon that Blacks have had little benefit from the Constitution. They claimed at that time their outrage was not racist in nature but indignation at the insult to America.
I mention it here, not because I am surprised or shocked, but to further indicate the level to which any sensible political discourse has fallen due to the pervasive nature of Faux Think and ditto-heads.
Even David Frum who remains a life-long committed Republican and thoughtful consultant to conservative causes apparently has had enough:
“The business model of the conservative media is built on two elements: provoking the audience into a fever of indignation (to keep them watching) and fomenting mistrust of all other information sources (so that they never change the channel). As a commercial proposition, this model has worked brilliantly in the Obama era. As journalism, not so much.”
“But the thought leaders on talk radio and Fox do more than shape opinion. Backed by their own wing of the book-publishing industry and supported by think tanks that increasingly function as public-relations agencies, conservatives have built a whole alternative knowledge system, with its own facts, its own history, its own laws of economics.”
How does one parody Gordon “Chaps” Klingenschmitt who joined other right-wing activists defending the Florida Family Association and Lowe’s, which bowed to the extremist group’s pressure to stop advertising on TLC’s All-American Muslim. Klingenschmitt prayed for God to “grant Lowe’s their greatest financial profits” and asked God to bless the FFA for “exposing the deeds of darkness.” He also labeled All-American Muslim “Islamic propaganda” and said people who oppose FFA’s pressure campaign against the reality show’s advertisers are “terrorist sympathizers.”
And yet, I still receive email correspondence from those who claim that posting this is merely “liberal” propaganda. I just have to sigh and assume they perhaps also believe “Kristallnacht” never happened.
Not all terrorists are Muslim. Some terrorists (alas much too many) claim to be God-fearing American Christians.
Not all Muslims are terrorists or even sympathize with them although, I am sorry to say, when it comes to sympathy for terrorists the same cannot be said of conservative punditry, Faux News and the right-wing religious hierarchy all of whom at one time or another have been known to, if not urge, than at least condone terrorism and killing of those with whom they disagree. Over 40 yeas ago, “Mr. Conservative,” Barry Goldwater wrote:
“I’m frankly sick and tired of the political preachers across this country telling me as a citizen that if I want to be a moral person, I must believe in “A,” “B,” “C” and “D.” Just who do they think they are? And from where do they presume to claim the right to dictate their moral beliefs to me?
And I am even more angry as a legislator who must endure the threats of every religious group who thinks it has some God-granted right to control my vote on every roll call in the Senate. I am warning them today: I will fight them every step of the way if they try to dictate their moral convictions to all Americans in the name of “conservatism.”
Isn’t it about time we ask some of our elected officials to show the same courage is opposing these thugs as Barry Goldwater did?
Let’s move Backwards together for a better America.
In my last post, I mentioned that Pookie was the only candidate promising to sell off everything government owns to shrink the beast to insignificance so that the true contributors to the health and welfare of America, the financial industry and biker gangs can be unleashed to save us from the loss of our liberties.
Alas, recently I have learned that, although he has not clearly stated his position in his campaign (unlike Pookie) Rick Perry, the people’s hero and one of God’s elect had earlier this year signed into law what could be a model for federal legislation. What that law provided the citizens of Texas was to allow all Texas State public buildings, nursing homes, hospitals, schools, ports, mass transit projects, telecommunications, etc., to be sold off to corporations. Even more incredible, the law allows the prospective purchasers to borrow the money from the State who then will guarantee the loans. According to some commentators, this could allow a foreign company to borrow money from Texas taxpayers to buy the taxpayers own state property at a discount. Way to go, Rick.
If it were not for his undue sympathy for illegal Mexican’s I would consider him as the vice-presidential nominee on a Pookie-Perry ticket. It has a certain pleasant alliterative ring to it don’t you think, PP for President and Vice.
Speaking of VP candidates, Tyron’s mother , of Smyrna Georgia, has recently floated to the top of my list of possible running mates. Tyron’s mom allows her son (Tyron) and his friends to hold meetings in her Smyrna Georgia basement of two of the nations most important community organizations, “The Sponge Bob Square Pants Fan Club” and the “Gay Black Jewish Klansmen For Tolerance and Understanding (chapter #6699).” Good for you Tyron’s mom.
A few days ago on another topic of consequence for this running for president of the united States, who would you add as faces on Mount Rushmore, Michelle Bachman pushed for the inclusion of Ronald Reagan, Calvin Coolidge and James Garfield. Good choices Michele! I would make the same choices except I would include Zeppo Marx (the serious one). Although he was never a president, Zeppo would fit right in with Michele’s choices.
OUR BLACKS UNDER ATTACK
The liberal press has been attacking one of my co-campaigners Herman (The Pizza-man) Cain over allegations, clearly fomented by the Democrats because Reagan’s 11th commandment that Republicans refrain from criticizing one another would prohibit that.
Many true patriots have jumped to Cain’s defense including the indefatigable Ann Coulter who correctly pointed out that, “Our Blacks and better than their Blacks.” Bravo Ann, I agree with you as I am sure old Abe would also. Although, I regret, that I do not have any blacks of my own, if elected I promise one for every American who voted for me.
Ann, who is rapidly becoming my favorite Transsexual pundit, also sagely observed on Fox News that the left was twisting civil rights laws that were passed to help blacks in the South from predation by Democrats, to helping, “White Women from Scarsdale” instead. Thank you Ann for pointing this out. I did not know there were any Democratic white women in Scarsdale. Pookie is always willing to learn. That’s why he should be elected president. He could learn a lot
REMEMBER ON ELECTION DAY VOTE FOR, OR IF HE IS NOT ON THE BALLOT WRITE IN, POOKIE FOR PRESIDENT, BECAUSE THE WHITE HOUSE IS A GOOD PLACE TO LEARN A LOT OF THINGS EVEN IF IT IS IN WASHINGTON DC AND ITS VIEW IS ONLY SO-SO .